I loved our family photo shoot done by Jessica Miriam Photography. Jess is a long time friend of our family.  I’ve known her for 5+ years.  For a long season of life we were roommates and then both got married and now it’s a joy to watch our families grow!

I love how she captured the love we have for our tiny human 🙂 Go check out her blog Jessica Miriam Photography and book her for your family, wedding, or newborn photo shoots!

It’s probably one in the morning.  But I don’t want to look at my phone because if it is 1am it will just remind me that I’m still awake and not sleeping.  My mind is on. My heart pounds quickly. “I just want to sleep” I think to myself as my husband sleeps soundly.  How? How can I sleep when there is always a constant movement of worry and anxiety in my mind.  An endless to do list that never goes away and somehow never gets done.

My husband is home safe, check. My daughter is happy, healthy, and a great sleeper, check check.  I have a wonderful job, check.  I have a great start to this writing gig, check. The support I feel from my friends is unexplainable, check.  I’m not in debt, check. So what is it?

Do you ever find yourself lying awake at night with every worry of the day running through your mind?  Things you should have done differently. People you think you may have offended.  Words you want to say but cannot? Words you have said and wish you could take back? Exhale.

I think of our wedding song:

“In your darkest hour | I’ll love you still | I have and I always will”

Your darkest hour.  My darkest hour is now. My life has been a whirlwind the past year. Transitions. Marriage. Birth of a child. Deployment. Return from deployment. Two moves.

Exhale & inhale….don’t forget to breath.

I inhale so deep that I can’t inhale anymore. Hold my breath. Let it go.

Deployment took a toll on me in a weird way.  I’ve heard other wives express that it takes some adjusting when your husband returns from deployment, however, I was so exhausted from being a single parent I couldn’t imagine feeling that way.  But here I am.  Feeling that way.  Luckily, my husband, and our marriage, is based on mutual trust and respect so I’ve never felt bad about expressing how I feel and my husband has always been completely understanding. Even when I don’t express things in love he has always shown me grace.  Grace, such a powerful thing. With out it I’m not sure how a marriage could work. 

Who would have thought I would have to express how annoyed I was that he loaded the dishwasher a weird way?  And you may think that’s dumb but after you’re used to doing everything on your own for 1/2 of a year and someone steps in to help you…you’d be surprised that the first thing you notice is not that he has helped you but that he has helped you wrong.  Doesn’t make sense does it?  Yeah, when I say it out loud it sounds ridiculous. But it’s my truth.

It’s hard to “air your dirty laundry” and with social media out there there is a lie looming about us that a good marriage means a perfect marriage.  Well all you married people who have good marriages know that’s not true.  So I feel okay telling you this. About my struggle with anxiety and these new adjustments we have to face as a family.  But the greatest part of this season of life is that in my darkest hour my husband has shown me the most grace. 

It’s freeing to let people know you’re struggling.  What a weird season of life to be in, right? It’s like a first date all over again but 1000000000 times more serious 😉

Deployment also did something really good for my soul.  It gave my husband and I a really tight bond.  It grew my trust in him in ways I cannot express.  Before he left I always had doubts in my head. As a military wife you see some pretty unbelievable things and you just hope and pray that you don’t end up that way.  For some reason deployment made me trust my husband 10 times more than I ever have before.

I’m no marriage expert and Chase and I have had our share of difficult times whether it be addictions, honesty, or difficultly with communication. But I do know this: Jesus tells us to “Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sin” 1 Peter 4:8

So when we do hurt each other or when we feel disappointed we remind ourselves of grace. Because we will fall short. We will sin. We will disappoint our spouse. And the grace that has been freely given to us is the grace we ought to give one another.  I’ve failed a thousand times and I know there will be many more to come. So I’m thankful for grace.

Deployment also made me appreciate the man he is. He stands for something and he’s never shied away from that.

What I’ve taken away from my first year of marriage, our first child, and our first deployment is grace.  Grace does something to a person.  When another person shows you grace you feel lighter somehow.

It’s been the craziest year of my life. It’s been the hardest year of my life. I’ve had more transitions & adjustments in one year then I’ve ever experienced in my 28 years on this Earth.  Luckily, I’ve found a partner who will stand by my side, close by my side, and walk me through every dark hour I meet. My husband is definitely the better half of me and has shown me how to love someone even when they are in their darkest season of life.  Love you boo.

J xoxo

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching and I’ve already given my husband “the talk”.  Please don’t buy me anything from Target for mother’s day unless it’s a bottle of wine and skittles. Ladies, we have high expectations of our guys, don’t we?  And I know you see on Facebook and Instagram that your friend’s boyfriend or husband swept them away to Bora Bora for a romantic getaway and planned it all by himself to surprise her with every thing she ever wanted and she never had to even drop a hint (rolling eyes emoji) #perfect #lovehim #soulmate #hegetsme #bestboyfriendintheworld #iwin #allmine #pleaseshutup… I mean what?

But if you’re like the rest of the population you typically have to state your expectations to men in order to get what you’re expecting.  Sound familiar?  Haha, I say this with a kind & loving heart for my man.  My husband has surprised me a multitude of times but I think as women we have these expectations that he should “just know” what to do for us or what to get us.  Don’t place that expectation on your man.  If you want something specific it’s time to speak up!

So whether your husband wakes you up on Mother’s Day with breakfast in bed, taking you to brunch, homemade gift by the kids, or an iTunes gift card (yup that happened to me ;)) he probably doesn’t know what you really want or desire until you say it. Out loud. Not in code. Or in your head ladies…help a brother out 🙂 you know who you are!

So I’ve made a list of Shop Small Etsy gift ideas for you and your family!! All of these stores are either non for profit or run/owned by some kick ass mama bears 🙂

I love Target but when it comes to gift giving or buying organic, I tend to shop small and local.  When it comes to household items I shop at Target if I cannot make it myself.

Top 10 Shop Small Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

1. Little Free Spirit Shop: they have awesome head bands for you and your little one.  BUT on Mother’s Day this should just be for you. This is Isla and I in our Little Free Spirit Shop headbands 🙂 We love them. 
   
2. Bebe DeLux (photo taken from website): I found this woman on IG through a Giveaway I was doing and we’ve remained social media friends.  She sent me several samples of her amazing homemade, organic, vegan, non-GMO coconut & milk oat bath for our daughter but truth be told I used the whole entire second bag for myself.  Shhh don’t tell.  If you have a wife, sister, mother who loves to take long baths to unwind you need to purchase this amazing coconut & oat milk bath for her. 
3. Layered and Long (photo taken from website): this women make beautiful personalized jewelry that is very fashionable and affordable. I love my Isla Jane necklace! 
4. Ly Etsy: if you live in the cold, first of all I am sorry, but not so sorry because you can always wear these amazing homemade scarfs by my girl Lindsay 🙂 go check out her shop on etsy!
5. Mommy & Me shirts: Isla and I have these and I love them 🙂 Go check out their Etsy shop!
6. Essential Oils:Essential oils are a must have around our house.  We use them for everything. Prevention of illness, ease of illnesses (cough, stuffy nose etc. But we still use medication when needed), therapeutic
   purposes, anxiety, stress, cleaning, cooking, smell, etc.  You name is.  Having PURE Therapeutic grade essential oils are the best kind of oils. They actually work! I would suggest getting the special mom in your life the Young Living Essential Oils starter kit with the diffuser.  It’s changed our life at home! (click on PDF to see a better picture of image below!)  PREMIUM STARTER KIT v 2.0 PDF
   
7. Massage & Spa Day: Anywhere around your home! If there is a local hotel & spa check out their rates on massages. Typically, a hotel & spa is the best place for a massage/spa day.  If you purchase a massage you also get access to the spa’s amenities.  Which makes for a perfect relaxing day of massage therapy, wine, steam room, and pool side lounging.
8. 31 Bits: This is an amazing business located here in CA.  They are an amazing company that creates jobs around the world through their jewlery.  Go check out their website for some fabulous Jewelry for the special mama in your life.
9. Madres Jewelry (photo taken from website): I love this company 🙂 educating and giving women around the world work.  What more could you ask for? Click on the link and go to their website to read more about this amazing company.  Pick out some amazing one of a kind pieces and support what they are doing world wide 🙂 (photo cred)
10. The Olive Tree Design (photo taken from website) : They have super cute Christian themed coffee mugs! Which I love because I love coffee and I NEED Jesus! So why not mix the two?  It’s just a perfect gift for the mama that loves coffee. 

This is my husbands favorite meal.  If you cook it right the pork is extremely tender and juicy.  Before I started making this pork roast my husband would always put BBQ sauce on pork roast because he thought it was too dry. Not after introducing this recipe to him! This pork roast is amazing and the chili rub we use is a fabulous rub for pork or chicken!

Here is what you need:

1. 1 Pound of Pork Roast
   1. I actually buy an 8 pound pork roast from Costco because it is only $18! 1 pound of pork roast from the grocery store is about $6-$8.  So if you do the math you can see that purchasing an 8 pound pork roast is much cheaper! I cut it into 6 large piece and freeze it!! Lasts me 2 WHOLE MONTHS!
2. Pork Rub Seasonings: chili powder | garlic powder | salt | pepper | cumin | basil
3. I typically use sweet potatoes
   1. For sweet potatoes cube | Preheat oven to 425 | Melt 3 TBS of butter | Coat sweet potatoes in melted butter | Add 2 tablespoons of brown sugar | 1 teaspoon of cumin | salt + pepper | dash of garlic salt | Shake sweet potatoes in a bowl to completely cover sweet potato | Bake for 35-45 minutes or until tender {BEST SWEET POTATO RECIPE YOU’LL EVER HAVE} in nonstick pan. 
4. Vegetables: I use any fresh vegetable I have on hand.  Which is typically brussels sprouts or broccoli.  Steam or bake and season with salt + pepper + garlic

{PORK} Here is how you do it:

1. Pork: preheat oven to 375 degrees
2. Seasoning: 1 tablespoon of garlic powder, chili powder, salt, pepper + 1 teaspoon of cumin and a dash of basil { you can double or triple this depending on how much meat you are making} 
   1. I place all of my seasonings in a rubbermaid and place the pork in it. Close the lid and shake, shake, shake.  That way the pork gets completely covered with the chili rub. You can also use a gallon zip lock bag.
3. Place pork in non stick baking dish (not cookie sheet) I used our William Sonoma casserole dish that has a lid. 
4. Bake for 30 minutes or until the core internal temp of the pork is 145 and/or not pink {do not use a lid during baking only after}
5. After your pork is done baking cover it with anything. I use the lid of the baking dish we have. Allow to sit covered for several minutes after you remove the pork from the oven to allow juices to work their magic 🙂

Cut, serve, & enjoy 🙂

Please leave any questions or comments below!

Love,

Jen

I adapted this recipe from My Kitchen Escapes 🙂 and it’s fabulous.

This meal took me 25 minutes from prep to table and it was so delicious I didn’t want to stop eating it.  Seriously, I had 4 servings.

If you need a quick week night meal with minimal clean up this recipe is where it’s at!!

Here is what you need: 

1. 3 boneless chicken breasts (or how ever many people you are making this for)
2. 1 Cup of Mayo (I use “Real Mayo” because I don’t believe in fat free etc.  Usually fat free means added chemicals or sugar.  REAL MAYO has only a couple simple ingredients.  I chose calories over chemicals 100% of the time)
3. 1/2 C of Shredded Parmesan Cheese
4. 1/2 TBS Salt, Pepper, and a mixed cheese spice I got from Brady ST in WI
5. 1/2 – 1 TBS of Garlic powder (depending on how much you like garlic :))
6. a little extra parm to top off the chicken

DISCLAIMER : if you are making MORE than 3 pieces of chicken DOUBLE the mayo, cheese, spice mixture 🙂 

I got this REAL MAYO at Costco.  2 jars for $4.99!! SO CHEAP AND SO YUMMY

Here is what you do:

1. Preheat oven to 375
2. In a bowl mix: mayo + cheese + spices
3. Place chicken in a pan and spread the mayo, cheese, spices blend on top of all the chicken
   1. Disclaimer: I only used 3 pieces of chicken with the ABOVE amounts of ingredients so I would double the mayo, cheese and spices for 6 pieces of chicken)
4. Bake for 25-30 minutes
5. During this time make your fav green veg. We made broccoli & a salad!!
6. When chicken is done allow it to cool.

Another alteration of this recipe would be to double or triple the Mayo + Cheese + Spices amount and serve over rice.  The mayo melts and turns into this fabulous cream sauce (probably because I used “Real Mayo” instead of fake food).  Next time I make this I’m going to triple the mayo + cheese + spices and serve over brown rice or brown rice noodles!

This meal is so fast, so good, and packed with protein and good fats (if you buy the Real Mayo) I cannot say the same for other types of mayo or greek yogurt 🙂

I hope you ENJOY

Love,

Jen